apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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