okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
