My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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