And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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