if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
