I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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