Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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