look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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