We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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