Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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