you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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