so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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