You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
