my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
