? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
