i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
