Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
