sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
