I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
