He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
