why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We're too hungover to prance.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
