if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
