The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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