you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
