wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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