Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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