dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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