My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
