a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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