dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
