i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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