You really coming over, don't trick.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
