There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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