i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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