You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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