there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
