ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
