I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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