is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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