dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
