Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize