come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You were trust falling into bushes
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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