he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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