Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
