Whod you bang
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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