$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
