Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
