I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
