All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
