You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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