doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
