you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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