Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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