Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Found your dick twin last night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
not ubering you a puppy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
